You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
