i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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