did you get engaged???
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
