Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
