new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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