He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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