Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
