Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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