Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she looked like the before picture.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
