Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
