I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
