Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
