that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
