He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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