I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
