I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
