whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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