ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize