in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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