I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize