these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
