if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
