WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wish there were birth control emojis
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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