problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
