hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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