BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
