that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
