Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
