Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
