Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
