the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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