North Korea, Best Korea!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
as a side note pls kill me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
