you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize