It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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