You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Terrible idea I love it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
