things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
