Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
