dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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