I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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