he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
