I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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