I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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