Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
