Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
