she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
