Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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