I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
