People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
