Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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