my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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