Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
