so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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