You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
