a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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