Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
