ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
