I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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