You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
