Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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