Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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